Binge Eating Hangover - How to deal the day after A binge
For many people binge eating goes far beyond consuming large amounts of food and the physical discomfort that accompanies it. It can be a very stressful experience that leaves a person feeling overwhelmed, out of control and trapped. The day following a binge is often riddled with guilt, shame, self-disgust & negative self talk leading to a strong desire to compensate for the perceived "mistake." People tell themselves that they won’t do it again and that they will get “back on track” and “regain control”. This can take various forms, such as restrictive eating, excessive exercise, purging or using laxatives. If you are stuck in the binge-restrict-compensate cycle then know you are not alone AND it is possible to get ‘unstuck’.
Many of the clients I work with believe that the binging is the problem and that dietary restraint and compensatory behaviours are helping them to stay in control. But what if bingeing isn’t the problem? What if the behaviours leading up to the binge are the actual problem in maintaining the cycle and keeping you stuck?
What is Binge Eating?
Binge eating is characterized by recurrent episodes of consuming large amounts of food within a short period, accompanied by a sense of loss of control. These episodes involve a feeling of eating more rapidly than normal, eating until uncomfortably full, consuming large amounts of food even when not physically hungry, eating alone due to embarrassment, and experiencing feelings of guilt, shame, or distress afterward.
In a clinical diagnosis of Binge eating disorder (BED) binge episodes are not followed by compensatory behaviors like purging or excessive exercise, which distinguish BED from other eating disorders such as bulimia nervosa and anorexia.
A perceived binge is when someone feels as though they have eaten excessively or more than they intended too, despite their intake being within a normal range. Often these feelings stem from the lens of diet culture that distorts our perception, making us believe we've eaten ‘too much’.
What is Normal Eating?
Take a few minutes to write down what normal eating means to you.
Where did these beliefs come from?
For the clients I work with the concept of normal eating is often challenging to grasp. Through disordered behaviours and exposure to diet culture they have a distorted perception of food and eating habits, making it difficult to recognize how to adequately nourish their bodies. The eating disorder may dictate strict rules, fear of certain foods, or an obsession with calorie counting. Normal eating may be seen as indulgent, out of control, or associated with guilt and shame.
Normal eating isn't about following strict rules or adhering to rigid diets. It's about cultivating a balanced and flexible approach to nourishing your body. It’s recognizing that there are times when you may eat more or less than usual, and that's okay too. It's about embracing the ebb and flow of your appetite and trusting your body's wisdom.
What causes Binge Eating?
Binge eating can feel like a desperate attempt to find comfort or escape from life's challenges, when no other coping skills are readily available. It can provide temporary relief, helping to numb pain or distract from past experiences.
However, one of the most common drivers of binge eating, or eating past comfortably full is under eating and dietary restriction (physical and mental), which causes the body to fight back in a desperate attempt to find nourishment. This strong biological pressure to eat is much greater than willpower.
This is not because your body is broken. It is trying to keep you alive.
It can be hard to come to accept that your body was not designed to survive on such little nourishment or to be as small as possible, but the truth is, if you don’t give your body what it needs and wants, it WILL find ways to get it. Often these eating experiences are a lot less enjoyable, and followed by guilt, shame and a sense of failure.
Other factors such as breaking dietary rules, eating a forbidden food or an external event and/or mood can result in temporarily abandoning dietary control. One of my clients called it the “f-ck it mentality, where one slip up triggers the “I’ve blown it, so I may as well keep going and start again tomorrow” mentality.
Abstinence Violation Effect (AVE)
AVE is a phenomenon that occurs when a person experiences a perceived failure or lapse in their recovery. This often is due to high or unrealistic standards and/or rules that one sets for themselves “I must never eat ‘x”. When broken (which inevitably will happen) it triggers a negative emotional response “I am a failure”, a drop in self esteem; “I will never change” , motivation; “what’s the point” and relapse to the problematic behavior.
More importantly than the minor slip up or perceived failure is how a person responds to a lapse.
What to do the day after a binge
Resist the urge to compensate and “do the right thing” - the eating disorder will tell you that you need to compensate and “make up for yesterday” but remind yourself that engaging in these behaviours will perpetuate the restrict-binge cycle. Instead focus your energy into eating regular and adequate meals
Replace self-judgment with self-compassion: lapses are a natural and expected part of the healing process. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding just as you would if you were supporting a friend or loved one.
Accept your feelings - we can’t control our emotions, but we can make space for them. Learning to accept your feelings does not mean you have to like them, but understanding that experiencing ALL emotions are part of what makes us human and that they are temporary and WILL pass. Instead of suppressing or avoiding these feelings, allow yourself to fully experience them without judgment.
Reframe lapses as learning events - Instead of viewing a lapse as a failure or setback, start telling yourself that it is an opportunity to grow and gain valuable information about your problem (it doesn’t matter if you don’t believe it at first, your subconscious mind will hear)
Stay hydrated: Drinking water or herbal teas like peppermint can help reduce any physical discomfort
Wear comfortable clothes - today is not the day to try and squeeze into any tight fitting clothes, as that is likely to maintain preoccupation with weight & shape. Instead put on your favourite and most comfortable clothes.
Engage in self care activities - it is likely that this will be the last thing your mind is wanting to do, but engaging in activities you enjoy can help shift your focus away from focusing on the discomfort - take a walk, watch your favourite programme, have a warm bath, journal, sit in a coffee shop, get out some crafts, listen to music, see a friend or any other activity that brings comfort and relaxation.
Seek help if needed: If you find it challenging to navigate the aftermath of a binge on your own, then reach out to a friend, family member or a trained professional.
LOOKING FOR MORE SUPPORT?
If you are looking for more support in changing your behaviours around calories, get in touch to find out more about my one-on-one coaching and how I can help you to find food freedom and embrace living a rich and meaningful life.
Love Harriett